Starting a homestead is easy

Seriously! Just ask anyone.

Here’s what you do. Start with some land. If you don’t have some, then you should buy some. Land is a little pricey though, so maybe start with saving money.

Okay so let’s start again. Start with saving some money. Then use it to buy yourself some land. It can’t just be any land though. You want something relatively flat and fertile. You need it near water, but not so near that it will flood. You need something flat enough to have an actual homesite too, unless you’re going to live in a treehouse. If that’s the case, we are not yet the blog for you (give me a few years though ;-).

Okay, so let’s start again. Find a good realtor and a good banker. Make friends with those people. Fix your credit and pay off debt. Now, you can save money. Tell your realtor friends and bankers what you want to do, and start looking. Funny as it seems, land does not grow on trees.

All right! You’ve got some land! Time for phase 2! Buy a tractor. Tractors are expensive, so maybe let’s back up to phase one for a bit. Save up some money and fix your credit again, since your big real estate deal probably just demolished all of your hard work. Once you’ve got some money, then it’s tractor time! But you also need some implements, and those can be pretty pricey too. Maybe save a little more money. Or you can start to get clever. Make friends with old farmers and search classifieds. Talk to the geezers on the “Liars’ Bench” in front of Hardee’s or the local gas station. Find someone who wants to sell their old plows and such for cheap.

Now you have some land and a tractor and a plow. Time to farming! But where will your tractor go? You probably need a barn to protect your big new investment. Will you build one or buy something pre-made? Maybe you were lucky enough your fancy new farm came with a barn. Maybe you were even lucky enough that the old barn is still standing! Maybe not… Guess we’re back to phase one again.

We haven’t even started building fences or renovating our homesite yet. Phew boy, I reckon this homesteading might not be super easy.

If you didn’t show up with tools, you’ll need a few. I figure you’ll want a chainsaw. Might watch a few videos about it before you start swinging it around. You’ll need a ladder or 2 as well. I figure you’re also gonna need some power saws. A miter saw is a great thing to have, but so is a table and a circular saw. You’ll need drills and impact hammers too. A generator is a good thing to have. You might want some pneumatic nailers and a good air compressor. Make sure you’ve got all of that, in addition to your standard hand tools (hammers, screw drivers, chisels, scrapers, paint tools, wire brushes, files to sharpen tools, etc.) You’ll need digging tools too like your shovels, mattocks, and post-hole diggers. It’s never a bad idea to buy a small gas powered tiller too. Did you remember to get a mower? You could always opt for livestock to mow the grass, but you’re gonna need to put up some fences.

I think we’re ready for step 3! Or is it step 4 now? We need a home and a garden! Crank up that plow! Wait, did we get water? Do we have septic? Bring on the Environmental surveys! Likely this all happened while you were still in the land purchasing phase, but if you didn’t secure water and some sort of septic solution when you bought the place, this will be your own personal nightmare. I recommend you hire some experts. You might have to dig a well. Maybe you had a spring, and you only have to pipe it down to the homestead. You might have to lay a septic field. You might have to talk to the EPA about the endangered grasses, birds, and bugs you’d displace in doing so. You might have to talk to a county planning commission after you hire a surveyor and a digging crew to mark your lines. You might have to put in special protections to keep your poo out of your well and/or watershed. You might wish you had made friends with a quality realtor at the beginning of this process.

What phase are we on, now? Has anyone seen my list? I think someone was coming to sign off on some sort of permit today, weren’t they? Has anyone given our receipts to the CPA yet? I think I forgot. Oh, hell, I think I forgot to hire a CPA.

I reckon starting a homestead is a little challenging. I reckon this is a little more than I thought it would be when we thought to buy some land… Makes a person think that city life might be a little easier. The grocer can source and provide some fresh veggies. The butcher and the beef and chicken industries can stock my freezer for me. I won’t need a tractor to mow my yard, and I’ll just pay a man to use chainsaws when I need them. I reckon if I wanted to go back I could.

But then again, I reckon that’s foolishness. I can’t go back.

I’ll take the sunburns and the dirt under my nails. I’ll take the forest at my back and the beasts who dwell there. I’ll take the fatigue and the occasional heartache. I’ll take the back aches too. I’ll take them, and I’ll smile for all that I have done and can do. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am free.